cHyOrK: >>

Saturday, May 30, 2009

This time last year, I had just checked in my baggage, and was queue-ing for the toilet. And I was trying to speculate whether I would be more Mentally-tired (for not sleeping) or Physically-tired (for the continuous running).

This time this year, I feel SO OUT OF ACTION. Seriously, I've never thought I would be so interested in long distance running, before I did Stanchart in 2007. Perhaps the euphoria that time was so huge that it planted seeds.

This time next year, I hope to be back at the starting line. And finishing line, of course. I MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST sign up for Sundown Marathon earlier before it gets full again.

人生是黑白的.
11:46 PM <3

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Friday, May 29, 2009

Semester 2

CM1502 General and Physical Chemistry for Engineers ~ [B+]
CN1111 Chemical Engineering Principles ~ [B-]
EG1413 Critical Thinking And Writing ~ [A-]
IT1005 Introduction to Programming with Matlab ~ [B]
MA1506 Mathematics II ~ [B+]

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Results are supposedly confidential. But I'm tired of repeating and entertaining comparisons. Here it is to the world out there!

-I am thankful for not seeing any 'C's in CN1111 and MA1506. I expected worse.

-Missing out on better showing for CM1502 and IT1005 were kinda disappointing. But I know where the problem is, though it's too late.

To conclude, it's marginally better than last Semester's, and I don't deny there's a marginal upward trend of my CAP score. Nothing can be worse than last semester already. But of course, no one will be satisfied with an overall CAP still much lower than the psychologically-assuring score of 4.0.

Life goes on. I still have much to work hard in. I've chosen the Engineering Path, I will see to its end. I will edge and crawl myself up, even if it takes time or effort.

But the remaining 2-month vacation is still mine to recharge.

人生是黑白的.
3:42 PM <3

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It was a Buddhist funeral for the last journey. We took part in the chantings and prayers, and it felt meaningful, as we hoped he'd be guided to the Pure Land. He had only just taken refuge about 5 days before he left, so it may not be all-so-clear for him.

The Buddhist-style is quite unlike the common Taoist-style, with bands and drums and noise. It was more solemn and peaceful. There is really no need to make it into an extravagant affair with Taoist bands to show anything to anyone. I guess the main geist of the Buddhist-style is primarily to guide the person to the desired place and direction, and not to linger around or be distracted by other forces.

I tried to ask questions to clear doubts, like, the significance of certain practices or procedures. I found them meaningful. I also found out the circumstances at which 外公died, and realised it was a lucky thing that it was not of pain from the cancer. It was also coincidental (or was it?) that he left when all his children were around, and it was very lucky that Dad the Buddhist was around to immediately cover him with the 往生被。

The burial place was also heavenly. I must say, Malaysian graves are way much bigger than Singaporean ones, not to mention that Singaporean ones will eventually be exhumed after a certain period of time.

The burial place is named a 'Villa' and is not publicly owned. It is really a very pretty resting place for the dead. They even had this 升天仪式，which I really must admit, was spectacular. It was held at an air-conditioned hall, internally decorated like you're in heaven. Then, the lights dimmed, a poignant poem was played, then a Buddha statue appeared with bright golden lights and majestic music. You can even hear birds chirping in the background! Then Buddha's forehead had a green laser emanating, and the laser scanned in all directions. The majestic music complemented with His greatness. Then, you see smoke and lights originating from the person's Tablet, and the smoke and lights went all the way up and out of the hall, right in front of Buddha's presence. I'm sure this is the part of ‘升天’. All in all, it was a really spectacular and unforgettable show, with good music and lighting effects. It was really touching.

The previous funeral that I was deeply involved in, was when I was still pretty ignorant of the happenings. I might not even had started school then. This current involvement really opened my eyes to alot of things. Being engaged in most things throughout, I truly felt the meaning. The questions asked helped. There were mixed feelings throughout the 2 days, but it was mostly of being touched. It wasn't pretty much a depressing event, as it was very much believed that it is a good thing he left before more sufferings come.

人生是黑白的.
1:12 AM <3

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

One of the First few songs that I hope to play, provided that I EVER sustain my interest that far..

人生是黑白的.
3:47 PM <3

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外公 passed away on Sunday night.

It was, in a way, anticipated, ever since the diagnosis revealed the terminal stage of cancer in April. Mum&Dad had been going up North every weekend to visit, and each visit recorded quick deterioration of the conditions.

The last time I visited was on Labour Day, 3 weeks ago, in the midst of exams--on the eve of the IT paper. Then, he was already beyond my recognition, a far cry from the CNY's visit just 3-4 months ago.

Sometimes, it's interesting to imagine how you will feel when you know your days are numbered. It's essentially an expiry date that is labelled on you, telling you that you have a certain number of months left, after which you ought to be thrown away. As that expiry date draws near, will it get increasingly terrorising and scary? Or is it the direct opposite--you bask yourself in peace and be thankful of a good life, and yearn to be taken away from all the pain?

We'll all go up to Johor later. Until funeral ends on Wednesday.

人生是黑白的.
12:48 AM <3

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