cHyOrK: >>

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I was praying and hoping for this set of results:

AAAB MM B3

But i got this instead:

AAAB UU A2

But seriously, i am satisfied, really. No matter how ugly the 2 "UNGRADED" are printed on the tiny results slip, and no matter how i've wasted extra money and time to have those 2 lovely words printed on it, im still satisfied, cos i've expected someting worse..(and thats y i was praying for 3As, which had become my ideal grade)

And im so proud of both cy and wl, cos they are both top scorers in our school, with a staggering 7 distinctions.. no wonder mr desai seemed smiley today..

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recalling this afternoon, i guess i was going through the worst moments of my life so far.. Stepping into the school hall for the last time doesnt feel good at all.. Panicky ppl around me just made my jittery feel even worse.. And i didnt dare to look at mr desai as well, cos i really didnt want him to show me any face of disappointment..

then comes the overall review of the results.. soon, it was the flashing of names of 3As and 4As on the screen.. page by page the screen changed, and screams broke out from all over the hall...
As i see the class order slowly progressing to "07", i felt an increasing pressure in my heart.. i became increasingly breathless and my palms went icy cold.. I had the urge to close my eyes and didnt wanna look at the reality in front. Then suddenly, wl was tapping me from the right and ys from the left. My eyes focused ahead and squinted a little. Blinked another time and looked. I actually see my name! My blood pressure dropped instantly and felt a deep relief. All's over.

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人生是黑白的.
11:59 PM <3

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its been quite a while since the last time i feel nervous and jittery about stepping into an educational institution..

and today, the feeling is back.

in half an hours' time, im leaving home already, and setting off to a journey that im currently still unsure of where it'll lead me..

deep inside me, a voice kept echoing, "the end is near.".

oh please.

人生是黑白的.
11:24 AM <3

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Sunday, February 26, 2006

yesterday was 07/04 gathering.. its been quite a while since i last met up with the class, after missing out on the new yr gathering due to field camp.. as expected, the gals are all working and earning big bucks..(well, much much more than the guys at least).. and most of them were saying that i look skinnier now, which is someting bad... actually i feel that my appetite had increased quite a bit since cny and i've been munching on snacks and chips and chocs almost everyday, but my weight has always been stagnant.. strange yea.

we had dinner at marche and sat around and talked at sky garden.. and of cos took some fotos..

we'll be meeting for lunch again this coming wednesday... but will we still be as smiley as shown in the foto?

i duno if i will. but i hope everyone did well.

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yep. so 010306 is my most dreAded dAy. im AfrAid of getting bAck the results, cos i've lost confidence Altogether, ever since the 2nd dAy of the A levels..

shit. the more i tink About 1st mArch, the more i'll be reminded of how i screwed my chem, econs, mAths p2 and phys p2 and p3. And not forgetting how much time i've wAsted in the pAst yeAr on my S pApers, for nothing. Argh.

i cAn forsee how jittery i would be on tuesdAy night. AfterAll it would be my lAst night before receiving the slip thAt determines the rest of my life.

frAnkly speAking, i wAsnt as worried 2 yeArs Ago, when i collected my O levels, cos i know i still have the A levels in front of me. but right now, i've wAlked to an open junction. whichever wAy i go, will be determined by the results slip im getting. Am i going strAight AheAd or turning left And right or U-turning or even get knocked down by other vehicles??

A levels is An importAnt gAtewAy. sometimes i just regret not working hArd enough for thAt finAl showdown.. cos if i do, i wun be feeling so lost And worried now. but on Another hAnd, i know thAt i've put in my best, just thAt my best is just not there. so whAt more cAn i Ask for?

i know the results Are seAled And so hAs my fAte.
"there's no use worrying!!!" i know, there's no use. i dun wAnt to Also. but i cAnt help it.

And when thAt moment comes on wed, i only hAve A request: try not to Ask me how i did. sometimes im tinking, is it necessAry to even turn up personAlly on thAt dAy.. but i'll surely come on thAt dAy lA..

so good luck to everyone who reAds this too.. but i'll need lots of luck as well yeAh.. hopefully my prAyers would be Answered.

whAt more cAn i Ask for?

人生是黑白的.
1:39 PM <3

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