Lulu passed away. At a ripe old age of 12, it's been a pretty good life.
She's actually been in pain the last 2 weeks:
-On 1st March, she was first sent to Mount Pleasant for an emergency check-up late at night, after being found behaving abnormally--she was so weak that she couldnt stand/walk, tongue was white and pale, and was crying with tears on the floor. She was diagnosed with low blood count and was given antibiotics.
-In the check-up 3 days later, the condition was better and so it was believed to be just a one-off illness and that it could be nursed to recovery again.
-The next few days were rather normal, though it was obvious that she was really getting less physically active. She no longer barked and didn't always come out and greet returning family members. But she received more attention and care and concerns. At least her last days were well taken care of.
-Yesterday, she was so fine that I thought she'd fully recovered. She greeted me and i spent some time patting her. And she enjoyed. She seemed energetic and kept herself involved in everything--being around when someone's eating etc.
-In a total turn of events, she started bleeding non-stop this afternoon, though she wasn't as weak as on 1st March. After rushing to the vet, the doctor assured that it didnt look like a life-and-death condition, since she didn't appear sickly and was alert and had energy. The doctor even said she might be able to be discharged tmr, after the operation to remove her uterus.
-But we didn't wake her up anymore after the operation. The bleeding didn't stop. Her spleen was removed and it carried tumours. Her gall bladder, liver and some organs had black spots and tumours too. The cancer had spread to many areas. And her insides were like a red swimming pool. The internal bleeding seemed serious. The doctor had already sucked away lots of blood, and she was pale and anaemic. She would not have lived past tonight. And if we wake her up to say goodbye, she would have been in pain from the wound and cancer too.
-Euthanised and going to be cremated. She died with eyes open. The dead pair of eyes really looked different--dull and dry. At least it was painless. I wonder how she felt before the operation. Could she have undergone great fear thinking we're gonna abandon her there and that she would never wake up again, and kept wanting to look out for aunt one last time?
I hope she heard the last words before given the lethal jab. I hope her loyalty and selflessness had earned her enough merits to be reincarnated out of the animal realm. Be a human in the next life. Or better, attain the level all sentient beings hope to, and break free of the cycles in samsara.
It's too sudden, really. Things arent the same again. Her absence will be greatly felt.
Lulu, R.I.P.
Thank you for the 12 years of friendship.
人生是黑白的.
11:08 PM <3
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