[Warning: Bitching entry ahead]
ANGRY.
Today is essentially my last day, since i'll be going for 2 surgeries and a week of leave. And so, i'm all prepared to have today as a very busy day, so i can settle all my work, keep my mind at ease and happily leave things the best way it could be.
Moreover, HE had given me a long list of things to do (apparently he just wanted to squeeze every drop of blood out of me before im gone), which he had briefed me no less than 5 times over the countless phone calls i've got during the past week. HE isn't around today.
So, HIS long list of things + my own jobscope, meant that from 7:30am this morning, i was rushing and busy writing. (Part of my own jobscope involves a daily log, so being away for many days, i know i've to diligently keep up with the accumulated things.)
And it's so unlucky that some special occasion is happening today, so the whole squadron isn't in camp. I started to worry, really, because my own jobscope won't ever be completed. I need to return stuffs, i need to seek signatures (not for ORD clearance ok), and i know i won't ever have time for that anymore.
OK that aside, since it's beyond my control. HE also wanted me to clear 5 lockers, which i'm more than willing, really. But i found out that the keys are with my DO, who isn't around today. So i can't do that either.
And so, i spent half the day doing ALL that could, ALL that was in my best capabilities, trying to leave things the BEST it could be. I was one of the last crews to leave the ship.
I sent HIM an sms, out of courtesy, so that HE knows what i've done (and not done).
Immediately, my phone rang. Its HIM. I know what would come, I expected that.
Briefly translated part of the conversation into English: "So essentially you did NOTHING today la! EH, do you know I can bar you from going to those surgeries and also take away your leave? And what?! You expect me to do all those things myself? Fine, I will keep calling you when you are away, to ask you about everything."
Look....
Number 1: Didn't HE expect me to do those things myself too?
Number 2: DID I try to siam any job assigned? I DID NOT. Was i responsible for arranging those stupid occasions on today? I'M NOT that powerful. On the other hand, I DID all i could, and was worried about those I wasn't able to complete and i know i wouldn't put my mind at ease even when im away.
Number 3: HE's trying to play God, taking full control over my MCs and Leave? Fine, if that's true, I'll come back with bleeding gums and swollen face, and then call the hotline.
Number 4: See how lousy a superior HE is. He doesn't even know what things we have onboard, where are they etc. And HE even needs to resort to threats? And HE doesn't even trust his subordinates? Impose fear over them? HE's neither a leader nor a boss, HE's a tyrant.
Seriously, I'm sad about how people never remember one's good. I'm not trying to say I'm good, cos i know im NOT, but at least HE could have acknowledged the things i've done, not just today, mind you. But come to think of it, NEITHER can i remember HIS good, cos i think HE has NONE.
It's possible that today might not be my last day afterall..
By the way, can anyone enlighten me on the hotline?
人生是黑白的.
3:44 PM <3
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