Friday, February 02, 2007
Blogspot really gave me a good scare last night, by making it impossible for anyone to access this page, by making it an error..Perhaps the more you are in this activity, the more painful it will be when it's all lost. So although im temporarily relieved that the error has been rectified, i'm also unsure how i'd feel on the day that i decide to wind up this thing.
Anyway, sailing had been cancelled due to very bad sea state out there, which is potentially dangerous for such a ship like ours. Now i just hope this sailing schedule is cancelled, rather than postponed. Seriously, i'd rather do 5 overnight duties than to go for 1 sailing. Its not because of the rough sea state that i'll experience, but because of the immense mental stress that i'll undergo.
And speaking about duties, I'm slated for CNY EVE. And i've decided to settle that using the you-know-what method. That is the only way that i can ensure myself not to spend a miserable new year eve night doing rope-splicing and other meaningless stuff, as opposed to having annual reunion dinner and watching countdown shows. I've promised myself that whatever I'd paid for this time round, i'll make sure i'll have them returned next time by doing other duties. So, the amount doesnt really matter.
And there seem to be a group of ppl who are willing to volunteer cny duties, seeing it as a way to getting quick bucks. One example, is someone who WASN'T even arranged to do cny duties, but in the end, decided to "volunteer" for EVE, DAY ONE and DAY THREE of CNY. Yes, i do agree that the 'reward' for just these 3 days beats whatever income from hongbaos, but i feel that CNY is just a once-a-year thing and that nothing actually replaces the joyous atmosphere. But hey, the presence of this group of ppl really makes it easier for the duty-unwillings to search for their answers.
And oh, i'm glad february has arrived. This signifies the passing of yet another month. 9 more, before i'll be ending my unhappiness. Actually today i felt really down the whole day, mainly because i lost my drive early in the morning, after being wrongly-accused for not doing this and that. I REALLY HATE IT, when i've done a certain level of job, say 90%, but missed out a very small part, and THEY just spread that i didnt do the entire job at all.
The more the number of days passed, the stronger I want to leave. Thanks so much for giving me such bad experience and memories. Thanks for not letting me develop a slightest sense of belonging to the ship, at least i can really maintain a clear-cut relationship on the very day of 5th November, on which I may burn that piece of contact list too.
A little warning to people who has 'eaten' me or who are going to eat me in the next 9 months onboard: I'm not really someone who forgive and forget.
人生是黑白的.
10:01 PM <3
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